Successful dog training relies on guiding and shaping your dog's behaviors toward a specific goal. Unfortunately, we may unintentionally promote undesirable behaviors like jumping, barking, leash pulling, or even aggression. Discover how a small change in how you work through your dog's behavior can yield tremendous progress when training your dog.
As a dog trainer and behaviorist, I frequently see the same simple mistakes being made over and over again (especially with first-time dog owners). So much effort is being put into working through their dog's negative behaviors, but not much progress is being made.
Let's take a quick peep at reasons why, and how some subtle shifts in your mindset can result in some easy, positive changes in your dog.
You Have Mixed Up Dog Training and Dog Behavior
This is the biggest issue I see dog owners face with their dogs. If you need help housebreaking your dog, working through basic commands such as sit, stay, or come, or you want your dog to fetch your slippers, then you are training your dog.
However, most people don't need help training their dog, they need to be rescued from their dog's behavior. What's the difference?
Behavior is derived from mainly two things with a dog: level of impulse control + anxiety. So if you're struggling with leash reactivity, jumping, or barking, you are dealing with behavior.
A dog's behavior (e.g., anxiety levels, and impulse control) must be worked with before training goals are attempted.
There's a reason we don't start teaching or "training" children formally before kindergarten. They are still learning impulse control and working through the anxieties that being separated from family can bring. The same goes for our dogs. Behavior first, and then introduce your dog to training.
You are Convinced Your Dog Is Spiteful
I don't know who needs to hear this, but your dog didn't chew your shoes out of spite, and there is no such thing as a dog "rage-shitting" in your house.
Your dog is acting this way due to anxiety and lack of impulse control (as mentioned previously). Chewing your shoes helps your dog manage their separation anxiety with an (inappropriate) outlet.
And the "rage-shitting"? Your dog is expressing their anxieties. Literally.
When you are tempted to believe your dog is trying to "get back" at you, remember:
Your dog isn't giving you a hard time, your dog is having a hard time.
Take a deep breath, and remember, you aren't your dog's enemy, and your dog isn't your enemy. The true enemy is your dog's anxiety. Be a team and tackle that common enemy together.
You are Enabling your Pup's Negative Behavior
During our pack walk last week one of my favorite clients, Candace, was struggling a little bit with her dog, Zoey, pulling on the leash. I was at a loss, because Candace has worked so hard to address this issue, and had been doing beautifully with her dog's leash manners.
Then I saw the problem.
Her dog decided it was time to investigate something on the side of the road, and Candace, rather than negating Zoey's pulling on the leash, enabled and tried to make an excuse for her, that Zoey "just" wanted to smell.
A few minutes later, Zoey "just" wanted to investigate a dead animal on the side of the path.
And then Zoey "just" wanted to eat a treat I had accidentally dropped.
And then Zoey just, just, just...
Now Candace was frustrated with the leash pulling that she had enabled.
Dogs thrive on having clear expectations of their behavior. The wishy-washy "just wants to" behavior does not provide these clear-cut expectations, and greatly hinders their impulse control.
You Don't Want to Be the Bad Guy
What exactly is "the bad guy" when it comes to your dog? Hurting them, definitely. Trying to dominate your dog rather than communicate with them, absolutely.
But giving your dog a necessary negative when their behavior is a bit unsavory?
There's a saying that I love:
Only your mother tells you when your face is dirty.
Your dog isn't human, and needs guidance in navigating the human world, similar to a child.
Be a good parent, and give a gentle negative when your dog needs it.
Your Dog Training Goals Are Murky
I had a client today who I will call out by name because she is fantastic: Rebecca.
Rebecca had just adopted a dog, Phoenix, and wanted to know how to keep Phoenix from bolting past her down the steps. She was confused about how to do so, because in her previous house, the steps didn't have a landing, where she would keep her other dog, Lily, in a stay position until Rebecca was all the down the steps. The problem was that in her current house, the stairways were full of landings, twists, and turns.
"How do I keep him at the tops of the steps as walk down if I don't have a line of vision on him?", she asked.
Ah...there's the problem. Goal setting. Let's break this apart.
I asked her why he needed to stay at the top of the steps. "So he doesn't bolt past me", she replied. Then it immediately dawned on her what the true goal was: not to keep Phoenix at the top of the steps, but rather, to not tailgate down the steps, which was a much more manageable goal.
She kept him about 3 steps behind her going down the steps. Problem solved.
You Aren't Catching Your Dog's Positive Behaviors Effectively
You are trying to housebreak your new puppy. You dutifully grab a handful of treats and take your puppy outside for the 1043rd time today, hoping they finally "get it". Your pup wanders away from you a bit and miraculously decides to drop a deuce outside. You heap praise on your puppy and then call them to give them their treat.
Oops.
Repeat after me: to recreate a behavior, you have to catch the behavior and name it.
Here's how it should have gone. Work with a positive association. What does that even mean?
Well, every single positive interaction I have with my dogs, from giving a treat, to cuddling, to feeding time (even throwing a ball for my Arwen), I make a noise that sounds like a bird chirp). Now I have a positive noise that can catch a behavior.
Now let's rewind and do that whole puppy potty training episode again.
Puppy finally wanders off and starts to go potty. The moment they start going is when I make that chirpy positive sound, and then I start to name that behavior they are giving, repeating the same word over and over again: potty, potty, potty. When they're finished pooping the puppy runs to me to get their treat for the behavior I marked while they were still pooping.
You Have Confused Walking Your Dog with Leash Training
This is a huge one. Let's break this apart.
Walking your dog involves having a dog who has already had their behaviors addressed (again, impulse control + anxieties) and combined that with dog training, namely working together with a leash.
Leash training is what teaches a dog what is expected from both of you while using a leash together (don't pull, which side to stay on, etc.)
If your dog hasn't been leash trained, expecting to merely go for a walk will be a lesson in frustration for both of you.
Manage your expectations and goals.
You Have Become Resentful of Your Dog
You're not alone. And you're not a bad dog owner. Dogs are assholes. Loveable, destructive, time-sucking, pissing-on-your-new-rug assholes.
Now that we've got that out of the way, let's see where that resentment might come from.
Another favorite client, Miriam, is dealing with some extreme behavioral issues from her new dog. And she is dealing with these issues with such grace and determination. Unfortunately, as with many of us, there are other issues in her life demanding all her attention as well, and she's trying to manage them all.
So during our most recent training session, she was reciting to me the list of training exercises she'd been doing with her dog, how she'd been Piloting her dog, and her usual routine. She's definitely an over-achiever, and a go-getter. But she seemed so defeated.
So I called her out.
She'd stopped enjoying her dog. She'd become a slave to Piloting her dog's behaviors. And it was draining her.
So I set a new, more manageable goal: every morning, she was to lay in bed with her dog for 10 minutes and just cuddle. Build a bond again. Remember why she got a dog, and remind herself why you're her dog's favorite human.
My grandmother (who raised 7 children) used to say that your kids won't remember if your floors were mopped and clean, but they'd remember that you always read to them when they asked.
When was the last time you "read" to your dog?
Conclusion
In summary, achieving success in dog training is not just about teaching commands but understanding and addressing your dog's behavior first. By recognizing the difference between training and behavior, managing your expectations, and setting clear goals, you can create a more trust-based relationship with your dog. Remember, it's not about being the bad guy but about providing the necessary guidance and support your dog needs to thrive. Embrace positive training methods, be patient, and most importantly, enjoy the journey with your dog. If you ever feel overwhelmed, know that you're not alone, and professional help is always available to guide you through the process. Together, you and your dog can overcome any challenge and build a lasting bond based on trust and understanding.
You're a team. A family. And while it's understandable that you'd get frustrated training your dog, remember that your dog is already a great dog. They just suck at being human.
But then again, most people are great people who just suck at being dogs.
In the meantime
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Together, we can make a positive difference in your dog's life.
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