When you attempt dog training you might notice that both of you have a survival mechanic in common: fight or flight. This was useful for when people and wolf alike would encounter fearsome enemies long ago, but is now a source of complaints for poor humans attempting dog training. How does your harmless neighbor in your house come across as a dangerous apex predator to your dog? How does this influence dog behavior and how can you show them your neighbor means no harm?
Fight or flight? Lady or the Tiger? Both may be good choices…or both may end the same way: badly. It’s a choice your dog is always making. For some dogs, the choice is difficult. We label these dogs as “aggressive” or “dog reactive”. Let’s take a look at what goes through the mind of a dog-reactive or aggressive dog.
Dog Behavior Simplified
Technically speaking, there is more than fight or flight.
Ignore: Right now, Ellis is ignoring the yarn I have on my coffee table; it is of no interest to him.
Accept: Arwen was originally engaged with said yarn. I answered her question (“Can I play with it?”), and she’s accepted the answer (“No”) and is drifting off to the “Ignore” category, which is right where I want her in when in proximity to my yarn stash.
Avoid: Gandalf, my rescue cat, thinks he can get at the yarn if he goes around the coffee table, where he thinks I can’t see him. He doesn’t want a direct confrontation, but he’s not quite ready to give up.
Accept, followed closely by Ignore, are generally the places you want your dog to hang out. The path to those places is sometimes paved with Avoid (sometimes you have to answer their questions more than once). But where does it all start? You guessed it: Fight or Flight.
Your Dog's Flight Response:
Flight is typically any animal’s first choice. You may call it cowardly, but that cowardliness ensures survival and procreation. Pass along those flight genes, and you’ve got Natural Selection working in your favor.
Look at it like this: a dog decides to kill a mouse and the mouse, though losing the battle, manages to nip the dog on the muzzle, giving him a small wound. Mouse is then promptly turned into lunch. That wound festers, and the dog dies. That’s a small case scenario. Imagine the life span of a dog who decides to fight with everything. Other dogs. Larger prey. Just for the heck of it. Pretty short.
Your Dog's Fight Response:
There are very few reasons why a dog would choose Fight over Flight, but most of them revolve around resources (they need to eat or you’re trying to take what they need to eat), breeding (Hey! That’s my potential mate!), or defending their young or pack (don’t get too close to my family!). Typically, the need to eat and the need to defend their young/pack are the strongest motivators of Fight. Your dog isn't naturally aggressive, they just don't see any other option.
Imagine what it would take for you to become aggressive and decide to Fight. What if someone broke in your house, would you shoot them? What if they were taking family heirlooms or they started up the steps towards where your children were sleeping?
The question is basically "What is your breaking point?". We all have it. Some would have pulled the trigger with the first provocation. Others would only wait until they were certain they or their loved ones were in mortal danger. Dogs are the same way: we all perceive the same scenario as a different threat level, and will respond with violence when that level has been breached. Your dog isn't aggressive, they merely feel they can't choose a flight response.
And remember, perception is everything. You may not consider something a threat, whereas your best friend may have a different perception of the same situation.
As a wise woman once said, "What's normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."
Okay, it was actually Morticia Addams, but the point still stands.
Your Dog's Natural Responses to Stimuli
So if every healthy animal would choose flight over fight, why is my dog reacting to other dogs/people aggressively?
Because you’ve removed options.
They no longer have the option for Flight; they’re only left with Fight! You have them on a leash or in a crate. Heck, you have them surrounded by the walls of your house! Their option to run away is gone! Ever notice how some dogs are crazy-reactive to other dogs when you take them for a walk on a leash, but at the dog park they’re fine?
For some dogs, even if you take them to a field and have them off leash, they may be aggressive. Why? Because now they have pack to defend, which is you. You’ve made it abundantly clear that you aren’t going anywhere and they can’t move you. Again, their only option is to defend you.
Now take a look at your “aggressive” dog. Are you seeing things a little differently now? That other dog walking right towards you isn’t a cute little Golden Retriever. It’s another predator. Heading straight towards you.
On a retractable leash.
Your dog starts to give “back off” body language. The other dog doesn’t back off because they’re tethered to a leash as well. Your dog realizes their warning is unheeded, and therefore decides to step up their game to all-out aggressive mode. A simple miscommunication between owners and their dogs has resulted in at least one dog being tagged as “aggressive”.
The Answer to Your Dog's Aggression and Reactivity
So, what is the answer? The answer is the answer! Let me explain.
That scenario with the other dog coming towards you? Your dog is actually asking a question: “Is that other dog going to hurt us?”. When that question isn’t answered, it can escalate to another question, “Should I back him off?”. Obviously the answers are “No” and “No”. To successfully work with dog-reactivity, you need to Pilot your dog. You can read more about it here and here, but basically:
1) Control yourself. If you are angry, tense, upset, yelling…basically anything other than nonchalant and calm, your dog will pick up on it. It’s okay to feel angry, upset, nervous, or all of those. Just don’t show it. Take a deep breath, and release those clenched muscles (take a look at your arms…I guarantee they’re clenched with the leash as taunt as you can make it). Fake it if you have to.
2) Control the situation. You can not add stimulation to a situation you’ve already lost control of. So, if your dog regularly pulls you on a leash…how do you think it’s going to play out when you add the stimulation of another dog?! Get control of the current situation. Work with your dog on leash skills. (If you need some help, check out this post) Gradually add stimulation as you can handle it.
Hint: Don’t try walking past the dog park on the first day you’re working with dog reactivity. Remember, we’re looking for progress, not perfection!
2) Answer your dog's question: “Is that other dog going to kill us?”
“No, Fido, it isn’t.” The more often you answer these questions successfully, the easier it will be to answer the next question and the next since you're building up trust. Remember, your dog will be asking questions with body language, so answer as soon as you see your dog asking!
Remember, this should never be about domination. Rather you should be focused on communication with your dog.
Again, watch out for "fight" body language: head erect, stiff tail, body shaped like a letter “T”, wrinkled or furrowed brow. If your dog looks like he took Viagra and rubbed it all over his body, it means your dog is asking a question.
And the answer is "not today, Satan".
Stiff tail, alert expression, standing on their toes. We refer to this as “Meerkat-ing” or “Prairie Dogging”. I don’t know what the question is this dog is asking, but the answer is “no”.
Finally, you don’t always have to know what the question is to answer it. Sometimes you won’t be able to identify what your dog is concerned about. That’s fine – just answer “no”.
Congratulations! You have successfully Piloted your dog.
Teach them to trust you. Trust for a dog means trusting you not to do crazy things, such as getting angry because they are legitimately frightened. Remember, they aren’t doing it because they are bad; they're doing it because they are scared. Let them know that yes, you see that dog, too, but you will protect them. You will answer their questions. You will Pilot them so they don’t have to be afraid any more.
And remember: Keep Calm and Pilot On.
Dog Training vs. Dog Life
By focusing on dog life instead of dog training, our goals can become so much more attainable and clear-cut. Most of us don't want an obedient dog, we just don't want a dis-obedient dog. Robot-style dogs who are afraid of stepping out of line are for certain types of people I guess.
But that's not my style. That's why I developed the Piloting method of dog training over 20 years ago, a force-free method of dog training and puppy training that didn't rely on abusive shock collars or cruel prong collars, yet didn't constantly bribe with non-stop click-n-treat style dog training. I want a bond with my dog based on trust and communication.
Learn more about our Piloting method of dog and puppy training here.
Find out more about our private in home 30 Day Best Dog Ever and 30 Day Best Puppy Ever training packages here.
Have questions about our puppy training or dog training?
Kerry Stack
Darwin Dogs
Dog Training and Puppy Training
Greater Cleveland Area
Northeast Ohio